Quentin Fottrell
6 min read
My life partner of 17 years and I want to create wills. He has two financially unstable adult children. I have no children. He has amassed fairly significant wealth ($4.5 million) in the form of military and civilian retirement, 401(k)s, investments, inheritance, etc. I am financially independent, as I had a flourishing career prior to meeting him. We have robust savings and own real estate. I’m not nearly as “hungry” as his kids would be, due to our wise life choices.
He wants to leave everything to me, excluding his adult children, as he knows they would buy a yacht and subsequently starve. One recently used rent money to go skydiving. He knows some form of “payment plan” from me to them would be more feasible. I’m not comfortable with the tax burden as well as the emotional burden it would leave behind. No doubt they would feel the arrangement is unfair, and that would potentially end our relationship.
He would like me to keep all his assets, as he and I have gifted heavily to them over their adult lives, despite years of off-and-on estrangement. As I don’t have kids, it’s hard for me to weigh in fairly. I have nieces and nephews with whom I would leave the keys to the kingdom, but I also feel a bit conflicted “skipping” his children entirely. There are grandchildren involved, so we’ve also envisioned skipping children and going to grandchildren.
He is 18 years older than me. He is of the mind that inheritance is for the surviving partner only, not for children, regardless of the situation. Should this be discussed with the children now, while everyone is of sound mind? I think one (if not both) of them thinks they don’t need to amount to much because someday they will inherit daddy’s money. However this shakes out, no one will be happy. I’m a bit conflicted and would appreciate advice.
“Stepmother”
Related: My father’s widow keeps sending me $200 checks in the mail. Why would she do this?
It’s your life, your marriage and your choice.
