Emma Caplan-Fisher
4 min read
For some, the road to marriage can look financially lopsided. Those in their 30s earning their fair share — say, more than $100,000 a year — may be used to covering 100% of their individual household expenses.
However, it doesn't typically feel good when a fiance refuses to contribute, claiming their money is only for “fun,” not “responsibilities.” This scenario isn't as uncommon as you might think.
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According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American household spent about $77,280 annually on expenses in 2023, including housing, transportation, food, insurance and health care.
In a two-person household, those costs can quickly add up. And when only one person is footing the bill, the financial and emotional burden becomes even heavier.
While differences in income are normal, refusing to contribute entirely can trigger long-term problems.
When one partner sacrifices and handles 100% of the financial responsibilities, their personal finances may suffer down the road, while the other partner gains.
This creates several challenges.
Budget strain. Even with a six-figure salary, carrying the full weight of household costs limits your ability to save, invest or spend on yourself.
Lifestyle imbalance and negative emotions. When one person is financially constrained while the other uses their full income for leisure, it can foster resentment.
Power imbalance. Financial inequality can also seep into decision-making. The partner who pays for everything may feel overburdened and unheard, while the non-contributing partner may avoid accountability.
Future financial insecurity. Without shared financial planning, big goals — from buying a home to starting a family — may be delayed or derailed entirely.
It’s about more than just paying the bills: aligning your values, goals and decisions is important in a successful relationship.
Read more: BlackRock CEO Larry Fink has an important message for the next wave of American retirees — here's how he says you can best weather the US retirement crisis
Before walking down the aisle, a couple in this situation needs to be candid, in a productive, structured way. If you see yourself as the "giving" half of your relationship, here are a few practical steps to hopefully see change.
